ZzZz...

Since i don't have the mood to study yet, I shall blog, and I think it will be a very long post as there are a lot of issues I will like to bring up.

Hmmm, how should I start??
Well, its only the first day of the 'journey' and i'm bored to death.
I can see more and more popping, which is good?
Heard from people it will be damn itchy, but, i don't feel anything. Maybe its only the beginning, thats why.
Trying to take my very best care so as not to leave any scars anywhere.
So, to people who are concerned- Thanks and don't worry about me.
I hope it won't pass to anyone.
Hope I can get back to school as soon as possible. Okay, I think it is not possible.

Alright, thats all for the stupid pox. Now, the issue on...

Friend/Breaking of friendship.

Well, If YOU are reading this blog post, YOU will know that I'm referring to you. And please note. This is not related to my DMGF friends/buddies. It is to a friend in my course.

Okay, first of all, I don't know whether you will read this post. But still, I will want to clarify lots of things.

What I don't like about this issue is that you didn't even want to clarify with me what is the BIG problem. And you leave me to finding out what actually happened. I don't blame you for blocking/deleting me in msn, but at least, let me know what happened.
Now that I get the whole picture, I will like to say a few words.

First, you contradicted yourself again and again. I still remembered we had a face-to-face talk about some issue last year. I have been treating you as a good friend, but, you got the wrong impression? I couldn't deny that there was a short period of time when I'm interested in you. But, what I could do was to make my 'interest' fade, as i had a gf at that point of time. So, you and I wanted to clarify. So, after clarifying, you said you will treat me as a normal/good friend again. I'm happy to hear that, and I'm more than happy that you will think this way? Yes. this issue stop. You said you wouldn't fall for me again. I believed you, treated you like how i treated others.
Recently, I found out that you don't want to treat me as your friend anymore. After getting to know what you told Huiting, I can confidently say that you contradicted.
Let me ask you, or everyone some questions.
If you are my friend, must you really accept my romance? must you make me care for you?
I have clearly said what I wanted to say to you last year. I'm just trying to treat you as a normal friend. I don't want you to have the wrong impression again. And there you goes saying, I didn't care for you as a friend, when i'm online, i didn't talk to you etc. Must I really talk to every of my friends when they are online to show my care for them? Moreover, not to let you got the wrong impression again, I tried not to talk to you often. But I still did RIGHT? UNLESS YOU TELL ME, I DIN EVEN BOTHER TO TALK TO YOU SINCE LAST YEAR. Then in this case, I am a real bastard.

Second, whatever posts i made in my blog, they are not related to anyone, anybody, unless I want to flame or burn someone.You said my post on the 'don't care about anything just confess if not regret' is insulting you. Well, when i posted something in my blog, must I really think so much and ask myself, is my entries related to any of my friends? If it is so, it would take me one year to post one entry. Moreover, I don't see how my post is related to you. For what must i insult you in this case? And why must you link yourself to my post? Get this through okay, this is my blog. I just express myself through this. And obviously, i didn't want to think so much before posting. I CAN SWEAR THAT ALL MY POSTS ARE NOT RELATED TO YOU, OR RATHER, NOT INSULTING YOU.

Thirdly, you said being my friend is tiring. Does this means that being your friend is not tiring? Must care for you every now and then, must make you accept their romances, must talk to you in msn everyday. If all your friends, ALL, do that, okay, i can say that i'm not up to standards to be your friend. I can tell you, sometimes I didn't even talk to my closest friend/buddy, unless necessary.

Yes, I tried putting myself in your shoes. Thats the reason why, i still talk to you, ask about your life, etc. When I tried to treat you as a friend, wanted to share problems with you, but you don't wish to know my love problems. Alright, I don't blame you for that. I can understand. But sometimes, I still update you on whats happening around me. Especially this month, when we are having holidays. But have you tried putting youself in my shoe? I never blame you for avoiding me, for not talking to me, for being angry with me. But do you know that i have to accomodate to you and talk to you nicely whenever you are angry or not talking to me?

I don't wish to continue about this issue. Sorry to you if this post is too harsh or something. It's your choice. If you think that I'm not worth being your friend, I'm fine with it.

Sorry to the people who read this LONG post. It is boring but I just have to clarify.

Byebye.

I'm gonna be at home for a week or plus because of pox.
Feel like dying, not because of staying at home. But rather, due to breathing difficulty, headache, and ache all over me.
Will try to use this blog to kill time.
Take care guys. Cya soon.


Holding on

I'm falling...

Sick and will fall down soon. I'm feeling so weak, physically and mentally. Lets hope it will be only for today. And this cause me not to blog today.

Well, I'm going to blog a long post when i get well. And it will be an important post.

And yes, before i end, I will like to say, having a blog has its own consequences.


since thats the case, fine.

Cleared.

Okay. Regarding my 'sometimes i wonder' post, it is just a misunderstanding.
After clarifying with 'A', I got to know ,
'A' did not help as he did not know what to do and what to say.
And for some other issues, they are also misunderstandings. Everything is done unintentionally. And yes, I trust you.
I apologize for what i have done.
All misunderstandings are being cleared. =D

But is it worth it? nope.

OKAY.

Well, since i'm waiting for 'something' to be done, I might as well make use of this time to blog.

I am not going to post about today as there are too many things happening, especially when midnight comes. ZzZ. And this leads me to the next topic. People, don't read it if you find it too pessimistic or stupid or what-so-ever.

What if one day, I am not around anymore?

Touch wood. Thats so pessimistic of me. But, thats what if.
Well, will i die with regrets? Have I live my life to the fullest?
I like what Nigel once said to me. He said, 'We only live once'
Yes, I totally agreed with him and i think we should live our life to the fullest.
I think from today, I must try things that I usually don't, do things that I like and EVERYTHING, then I won't die with regrets.
To everyone who read this post. Please express yourself to the person you love, you adore, you like. Coz you don't know what will happen in the next second. Even if you are afraid of getting rejected or something (by the person you like/love), SO WHATS THE BIG F DEAL?? At least you express yourself, at least you may get to know how the other party feels. Think, what if you never get a chance to say? Regret.

OKAY, sorry for this boring post. Something happened which leads me to this topic. CYA =D


i'm still here for you.

Sometimes i wonder.

Hmmm. Sometimes i really wonder, can i really trust people whom i trusted? People whom i trusted are those that i share my problems with, tell them what is happening around me, etc. But that doesn't mean that i don't trust people whom i never share my problems with, etc. People who knows me well will understand that i seldom share my problems and stuffs with people. I will usually keep them to myself. I will also tell, if anyone asked.

Now, it comes to friends and brothers. I will know who to trust and who not to trust. However, if friends and brothers that i trusted backstab me, I guess they are not worth being my friends or brothers.

I came across a situation, which i can forgive, but i couldn't forget.
'A' knew that i needed this big help from him, and yet, 'A' didn't help me, instead added salt and vinegar to make it worst. Actually, it wasn't really a big help, just some words will maybe help me to get what i wanted.

My words to 'A'- I seriously don't know why you do this. Maybe you did it unintentionally, but if i were you. I will definitely help you no matter what. And common sense will tells us, it is only right to help a brother/friend.
If you do this because of other purposes and not unintentionally, a big fuck you to you.
If you are smart enough, you will know who i'm talking about.

Well. The only person who knows about this case is Hui Ting. And yes, she agrees with me.

To conclude, the only person to trust - yourself.

Pardon me.

Alright. I know U will never see this. But I don't give a damn.

Well, after typing quite a few sentences of my anger towards U, i decided to delete them. I don't wish to upset 'N' and well, i don't want 'N' to be affected, etc.

Words to U - Treasure it before its gone.
Words to 'N' - I don't want you to come to me, but I want you to be happy, although it doesn't seems like it.

OKAY. BYE.


KNN.